Change

Change is a part of life. It is the only thing that is guaranteed . . . change and taxes (I heard that that somewhere and it made me laugh).

Things are changing for me in my life. Things aren't the same as they were a year ago, or even a month ago. I am about to embark on an adventure that is moving off to college - again. The difference this time is that after this move, I may not ever move back into my parents house again. I am becoming an adult. I am 5 months away from being 20, not longer a girl in her teens, but a woman in her 20s. My family dynamic is changing, our little family business is growing (we have a lot if employees), my dad is looking for a new job - one that will give him a sense of accomplishment because he is tired of the same old. My brother is turning 21 this year and is getting plopped into the life of an adult, financial struggles and all. My sister is turning 16 and will start high school  - and dating. My little brother will be turning 12 in almost a year, it is all big things, no small things.

My life is changing. Something that I realized not long ago is that, even though I am afraid of getting hurt, I am not outside of feeling. A few days ago I realized that I started to like this guy. And he's really great. I also realized that I was OVER my ex. Like really, it was the most amazing feeling in the world, realizing that it doesn't matter what he does, I can be happy. So I started to like this other guy. And it was almost a sinking feeling. You see, he's claimed by one of my good friends. Well, they were together off-and-on and they're off right now, but she is pretty sure that he still has feelings for her and they'll get together. So I told her that I like him, but I promised not to do anything about my feelings - which I am upholding. I am not making it known that I like him, and I treat him just like I did before I started to like him, so basically just like I would treat any other guy friend. So I've been texting him and a couple days ago he said that he doesn't mind when I text him . . . :D eeep! So today at work he came to see me! And he said that he's gonna come say hi tomorrow too!! And he invited me over to his house - so I wasn't about to pass that up, I like him for Pete's sake. And I think he might like me a little bit. Which is tearing me apart because I can't hurt my friend like that, but I really like him. So I'm a little torn over what to do.

In any case - changes are happening and I am quite happy with them right now. Nighty Night :)