God has a plan for all of us. Whether we see it or not, there is someone who is there and knows what we need. And that person is our Heavenly Father who loves us so much more than we can ever imagine.
These last couple of weeks have been very interesting. I was perusing Tinder (a dating app that I use on occasion) and came across someone who's profile intrigued me. In the profile it said that he was recently divorced and that he had a daughter. So, me being me, tried not to judge him based on that. So I said yes, and lo and behold, he had liked me as well. And that's when things changed. We started talking immediately and I felt quite a connection really fast. We chatted on there for a few days and upgraded to texting. Wednesday December 16, 2015 was the day that we decided that messaging is dumb and texting will be easier. So then it began haha. We texted for most of the day unless I was at work, but even then it was so slow that I texted anyway. In any case, after a bit of talking, we decided that we wanted to go on a date. And this made me very excited, because out of the quite a few people I've talked to, he is the only one that I've really wanted to meet. So we planned for the Wednesday after Christmas because I was scheduled at Bath and Body Works the Wednesday before. I sent our a message to see if anyone would take my Wednesday shift, but also my Saturday night shift. No one did, until Tuesday morning. I was so excited.
So we went on a date. He picked me up at my house, and he looked a little different than I had imagined and had seen from his Facebook. He met my parents and opened my door for me and everything. Well, if that wasn't enough, he was a perfect gentleman. We decided that we would go to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and then we would go to Provo Beach Resort. So we went to dinner and I learned quite a bit about his family, and learned that it is a little dysfunctional and some of his siblings are trouble children. He is adopted, and he has a sister younger than him. He doesn't know his birth parents and he doesn't care to. But hes got these adorable puppy dog brown eyes that melt me.... I learned that he likes his steak well done, he likes mac and cheese (and is a bit of a mac and cheese snob) and he loves Mtn. Dew, but he also likes Pepsi and Dr. Pepper. We had a nice conversation, and got along decent I thought. So we headed to Provo Beach Resort and ended up getting the Day pass that was $20 for almost unlimited everything,
We did bowling first, and he won by a lot. He's much better than I am, and it definitely didn't help that I was beyond nervous to be on a date. But it was fun in any case. Next we decided to do mini croquet. It was weird and we ended up just hitting the balls through the hoops without rhyme or reason really. But we got to talk, and that is the point. The ropes course was lovely. I learned I'm a little bit of a wimp, but he put up with me and we were on there for a good half hour at least. He'e really cute. Ice cream was next and we went to the mall and got Cold Stone. He is chocolate fan, and got chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips. He didn't even eat it all. But we walked around for a little bit and I REALLY wanted to hold his hand, or have him put his arm around me or something. Because of all the talking we had done beforehand made it felt like I had known him for a lot longer than 10 days. But alas, he didn't really. I mean, he told me I was beautiful and put his arm around me for a few seconds, but it wasn't as much as I wished.
When we got back into the car, it was about 10pm and Daynon said that he needed to get home because he had work in the morning. So we went back to my house and I told him to park in front of my grandma's house so that no one could look out the window and see us in the car - not that we were doing anything wrong, but still. So we talked, and talked, and talked. He told me about his ex wife and what had happened between them (when she left) and I was there to be a listening ear. So, if I like someone, I tend to do this thing where when we're sitting in a car and I put my knee on the console and leave it up to them. He took it! For most of the time we were talking, he had his hand on my knee. I wasn't uncomfortable at all, and I really liked it. So we talked, and watched some videos on YouTube. So we ended up getting closer, and out of pretty much nowhere he KISSED me. It was ... amazing. Now I'm not someone who kisses anyone on a first date, and people don't necessarily want to kiss me - especially on a first date. So the fact that he just gosh darn leaned over and kissed me swept me off my feet (but not literally).
But a slight flashback, we started talking because he challenged me to come up with some words that I would use to describe him after only one date. I chose patient, sweet and cute. Because that's how I saw him. He is so sweet, and when he talks about his daughter Jaylee, I'm a puddle on the floor. And he is a gentleman, and he knows how to treat a girl with respect. And shoot me now, but I am attracted to so much more than his looks, although they are pretty darn good. Like, really, he's no model, but my type of attractive. His brown hair and brown eyes just kill me. Yeah, so no regrets about the date. I had hyped it up so much that I was sure that it was not going to live up to my dreamt up expectations that I had imagined. But it was so much better. I can't even describe how right it felt that I was on a date with him. So there was my night. And he makes me really happy.
A couple days later, mom let me know that dad was planning on making pizza on Sunday night. She said that I should invite Daynon, so I did. He let me know that he was scheduled for a shift that night from 7-11pm at the hospital. He also had Jaylee until 6, and so I had resorted to myself that I wouldn't see him until Wednesday. We were chatting and he let me know that his supervisor had called him to let him know that he didn't need to go into his shift. I literally jumped and squealed I was so excited. I talked to Hannah that day too, and I went up to her mom's house to go and say hi. It made me so happy. So Daynon showed up, and it was perfect. He got along with everyone, and he was talking to everyone like he's been around forever. He even talked to Erick and Kathi and Grandma Carolyn. And on occasion he would rub my back or out his arm around my shoulder like it was nothing. And it all felt right. We went to Sister Green's house to see her Snow Village that her husband has and has had for years. It was so cool. And I felt like a kid again, except this time I had someone with me that I want to share a lot of time with.
When we got back, we opted to watch a movie instead of playing a game with people. Let's be honest, I wanted to test out the cuddling situation. And it was quite fitting. We went together like 2 puzzle pieces. He is just the right complement to me, at least I felt so. And I was perfectly at ease with myself and being with him. We were watching The Italian Job. I know that movie quite well, so I didn't necessarily need to watch it all, and I wasn't paying any attention to the movie... At one point I was looking at his face, and he asked if I was paying attention, and of course I faked that I was haha. And he kissed me, and once again, it was lovely. It just feels right. And I don't know what he feels, but I am totally falling. Falling hard, and it's not just the physical stuff. I learn more about him everyday, and while there is so much more to learn about him, the things I know make sense to me, and he has the qualities in the person that I give my heart to for the long run. So as we were sitting there, just being near each other, he told me to get used to it, because he's going to be around for a while. And that is perfect for me. For myself, I couldn't be happier than I am right now. He brings me so much happiness, and I am perfectly content to have him around and I am totally getting feelings fro him that don't even make sense.
The way he makes me feel is like nothing I've ever felt. I feel valued, and I feel beautiful. I feel like he wants me around, and that he means it. And he is sweet. At this moment, I don't want to get over him. But I can't tell him how I feel because its WAY too soon for this. It is way too soon for me to feel this, because I barely know him and his divorce hasn't been final for very long and he needs time to get used to being with someone else. So I get to see him on Wednesday and I am excited to spend time with him. So I'm going to keep my real feelings for him to myself.
Oh love, why do you do this to me, again? I just got over my last heartbreak, i don't think my heart could take it again.
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