This Guy

I'm starting to have feelings for Brendan again. Oh gosh.

I know that I set myself up for this, but I'm not that worried. A couple days ago, Hailey and I were talking and she was all "you're going to marry him or something" and I brushed it off, but there has to be a reason that I can't just get over him. I was thinking about things yesterday and it made sense that I can't just let him go.

And since I'm definitely starting to have feelings for him, I realized that it never went away. He was always there in the back of my mind, and of course, I wish that he would cut his hair and go back to church, but I have to be patient. I think that through my ... encouraging ... I could start to get some sense put back into him. Another aspect of all of this that made much sense to me is that he hasn't ever made a real effort to believe the gospel is true. He had a jilted idea about church from a young age and never really liked it. So as soon as he could get away with it, he stopped going to church. And it is painful that something that I value so much hasn't even been given a chance by someone that I have feelings for. And I know that if he could just see it, it would make him happier.

So here we are, but we did make progress.