Belief

This last while has really tested what I believe. I have been going through some hard things that I haven't been very good at dealing with.

These past few days have made what I believe very solid. I have some awesome roommates, and I wholeheartedly believe that they have been made my roommates for a reason. They are so strong, even when they are weak. They told me to pray. So I started to pray again.

I prayed that I would be able to come to peace over my breakup, that I could finally be okay with it. I prayed that someone would come into my life to help the healing process. I prayed for the courage to talk to people that I don't know, to be more social. I prayed that I would be able to be myself without fearing what people would think of me. I prayed that I would be strong, that I wouldn't break into a million pieces. I prayed that I would be able to be better.

Many of these things happened.
~I did come to peace over my breakup. I was able to look at him and see him as friend, someone who I know and can be around.
~Some people have been sent into my life (well,one already was, I just hadn't realized it) and he got my mind off the hurt. Another came around and made me realize that I am not outside feeling positively.
~Since living in Provo, I have met so many people, I have gone outside of myself and made friends.
~I am myself. I know that I am a person, that I have worth and value, that I am important.
~I am not strong all the time, but I have people around me that will always be there for me when I need them. I learned that sometimes it is okay to not be okay.

I have learned through this that prayers aren't answered when we want them to be. They are answered when they need to be. Some of these things happened MONTHS after originally asking. But I just had to believe that I was being heard, that eventually I would get the answer that I need.

God sends people into our lives for a reason. Every person that I know, or that I gave me, us ub k=my life for a reason. And I am just now realizing some of them. I cannot express how grateful I am that these dear people have been placed in my life.

I am happy. I am a little confused about some things, but eventually it will figure itself out, I just need to trust that I will be led to do the correct thing.  That I will be able to become the person that I am meant to be, the person that my Heavenly Father knows me as. And hopefully I will be able to help others through my experiences.